its nice...

don’t you think its nice when things go the way that you know they will?? even when you may not like the way they go?

tonight:

i worked on the latest assignment that i don’t want to do until 5:30, when i wen and watched ABC kids till 6, changed the television to channel 10 to see what episode of the Simpsons will be on.

i'd seen it - i'd be amazed if i hadn’t.

back to my room - to do work, but no - i spent the 45 minuets till 7 surfing the net.

7 i watched Futurama.

7:30 i cook dinner and watch Australian Idol with Alison and Lauren.
we hardly pay attention.

8:30 we watched Greys anatomy and the rest of the house has dinner.


i spend some time re wording what I’ve already written and again despair that its too hard and i want to go home.

10:30 Boston Legal. evan and i watch most of it.

evan goes to bed.

I sit up till 12 watching Scrubs.

Rodger went to his girlfriends tonight.
Kate and Evan went for an "early night" but i can still hear them across the corridor.
Alison went to bed early cause she has placement at the child care tomorrow all day.
Briode asked me again to go cairns this January to do surveys with green sea turtles.
jess tried to ignore my existence, well, until she needed something done.
Briode slammed some doors, had another argument with Matry... that’s just not going well.
she yelled at Ev and kate as they are making too much noise, more slamming doors.

and i was left to my own devices to turn off the lights, lock doors....

tomorrow i'll be the last one up again.

i haven’t gotten any emails, texts or phone calls.

maybe i would have if something went wrong or some thing looked like it could go wrong - but if thats the price that has to be payed or people to contact me... i dont mind them not.


i think i'll see how long it goes before someone contacts me just to see how i'm going.



and i'll get on with the things that have to be done.

i'll get the rec200 assignment in on Friday.

i may not get the acc101 one in next friday tho - but i guess i;ll have to fail something soon.


its been O.... a few days since i laughed, or even smiled for no reason.

its all to easy to tell these people that everything is ok.
they are easy to fool

even if there isn’t anything really wrong... well, i don’t think that there is - i know that there has to be, but i don’t have a clue as to what it could be.

nor do i really care - this is a state of mind that i like, i can cope with it.....

i think - i think that its the same as i had at the end of last year - when there isn’t anything there.
food for thought really.

i know it, its oddly comforting.

its nice to be somewhere that i know what’s going to happen in life.
no hiccups, no hard challenges.... well, for me anyway.

i take on board others because i think i can help them.


and i will if they choose. as best i can.
in the mean time I’ll help myself.

its oddly nice.

"and in my dreams i'll live, should the dreams take my reality -
why live at all during the day?
when the things work out more at night stay there.
when the thing do not work out. wake up."

she had hot lips, like pepper, i knew her.. no?... maybe - i did?
well, I knew her name...... but the names that the mind gives to people can confuse things.....
never again will i walk from Tathra then an eagle is chasing me.
and i'll hold the bird in the crook of my arm.
birds don’t swim.
she had soft lips. and she kissed me. Twice.
but i kissed her back. .

i don’t want to live in dreams.


so back to good old predictable life.
until the next hiccup.
it'll come - this is inevitable.
but it will pass - that is also inevitable.

and then i'll be back here.
maybe i do have a form of constant. even if its not the one i had planned on.

but its nice all the same.


till later.

all the best to you all.
- Sven.