Opening the Heart

Well, I got back from a 4 day hike last night sore, sunburnt and alive.The walk was great, hard, long and I realise that everything that you can find out there in the Australian bush its trying to kill you - even most of the bushes and trees. but that aside - i had a ball and had lots of time to think and chew through some things.
I told a dear friend of mine some events from the walk and she said "How miraculous is it that the human spirit is so resilient?! Even when we're off down some random path something in us tells us where we need to be and we go. Amazing... Reminds me of a David Wilcox song "I feel you behind me, but how did you find me here?"Now, I don’t know that song - but i know what she means.
The thing that i was telling her happened after lunch on the 3rd day of the walk - we were doing out 'solo's' on pairs (cause its was too dangerous to do solo's because the number of snakes out in the area) so after lunch i told Scott that camp was "that way" *pointing* and we checked the direction with the map and compass and it was in that direction so i asked if we could just walk there - no map, no compass. and we did.
i was leading and after a few stops and me choosing paths through the scrub - Scotty asked me if i knew where i was going.
i didn’t, but i did - when i would get to a section i'd feel the correct way to go and trust that instinct.
in the end - it worked totally, we came out into this clearing and there was the other people who had headed off before us. Scotty was most impressed. as was i seeing as it has been a long time since i have tried to do that or something like it.
i have been reading Eckhart Tolle's the power of NOW again and its been opening up my heart and my mind, both things that have been closed for too long now i feel.
My heart from emotions and my mind from life as i should be living it.
so on the walk if i found myself thinking about thing - I’d 'watch' where that train of thought was going, and let it wander while thinking about why it was trying to do that, why it was remembering those things and how much that i could remember.
i thought about friends mainly, because they concern both the heart and the mind and possibly is an area that i have been neglecting over the past 10 months.
how you can fall out with your best friend because of something as stupid as someone else’s word.
how people will love you, but never tell you until you have unintentionally hurt them and then its too late.
how someone who you would put your life on hold for, for as long as they want - can change without you and you no longest know who they are.
how we can have people and we try to make decisions based on what we think is the right decision and not by what our hearts are telling - even screaming at us is the wrong one to make.
how new friends can begin to know you, but your caught up in protecting them from what it may be that scared off all the ones that you grew up with.
how we can connect with some people and others will never get us.
i don’t know what to do about any of it - I haven’t had enough to allow my heart to work it out - and I’m not going to let my mind take control because i think it'll get it wrong. and then i wont have grown.
But its another step in my growth at a person and hopefully, I’ll 'work' some of them out and grow more, from the experience.
at least i know that what ever path i take, what ever choice i make - i'll end up exactly where i was going.
Keep safe, smile and share love.
Sven.
Some claim to correct evil and lead to good. But this is only a passing desire.
Winning and losing is the ignorance that makes one believe in personality and the self.
I would like to be a mind beyond the dust.
Blue sky and white moon.
The wind sends us pure air.
Master Ikkyu Crazy Clouds from “The Wisdom of Zen”